Crazy Circle

Why is it that every damn thing feels like a damn conspiracy ok lets start with the newest.....We have to pay off family members that was stated in roys dads will. To get the property that was left to roy these have to be paid off. To get the money to pay them off we need a loan duh I dont know anyone who has 35,000 in their pocket ready to use. So we fianlly got approved for a loan great right??? Now they want proof of fire ins on the house....Easy right??? I have called like 20 places and everyone of them say they cant insure us beacause we dont have a different way to heat the house other than a fire stove.......And since we live on a orchard we have to destroy tons of vegetation around the house that they see as a problem. So in order to get the ins for the loan we have to install not only a PROPANE wall heater but we have to destroy our part of nature that we love up here. what the hell ....So to get money we need we have to spend like 900 dollars on a heater we WILL NEVER use because it will run our pg&e bill so sky high that we wouldnt be able to put food on the table....I am fuming right now........