Good Day Today?

I am taking the kids swimming today in morgan hill. Its going to be really warm which will be nice so that they wont get cold swimming. I need to remember to take my meds so I have my patience but overall looking forward to a really fun fun day. Then tomorrow Roy and I are going to Salinas kid free to go see the Monster trucks it will be a blast. Thanks Mom and Dad for watching the kids you should have a great day also.

A fun day

Yesterday was monday and roy had the day off. I started the day off with sleeping in with him and the kiddies till 9:00. I went to my mommy wellness group which was really fun I am meeting and becoming friends with some great women. Then Jackie and Dusty followed me home and roy and keith and I got to work basically stripping the front and side yard of brush and trees leaves and grass ect.... It was fun but god hard hard work we are getting ready for the fire insurance inspection. So I hope we get done soon it is so hard living in the country instead of the city. So much more to do..... We had alot and the little boys joined in, it turned out to be a great day...

Crazy Circle

Why is it that every damn thing feels like a damn conspiracy ok lets start with the newest.....We have to pay off family members that was stated in roys dads will. To get the property that was left to roy these have to be paid off. To get the money to pay them off we need a loan duh I dont know anyone who has 35,000 in their pocket ready to use. So we fianlly got approved for a loan great right??? Now they want proof of fire ins on the house....Easy right??? I have called like 20 places and everyone of them say they cant insure us beacause we dont have a different way to heat the house other than a fire stove.......And since we live on a orchard we have to destroy tons of vegetation around the house that they see as a problem. So in order to get the ins for the loan we have to install not only a PROPANE wall heater but we have to destroy our part of nature that we love up here. what the hell ....So to get money we need we have to spend like 900 dollars on a heater we WILL NEVER use because it will run our pg&e bill so sky high that we wouldnt be able to put food on the table....I am fuming right now........

Just quick update

I am sitting down and watching deadliest catch. I love this show but at this point the poor skipper on the corneila marie is struggling for his life right now. I hate this part. Bradley and I started swimming lessons yesterday and he loves it today we worked on going under the water and entering the pool when there is no stairs. I love having one on one time with my son . I feel sad some times when I cant give him undivided attention that a toddler needs so it is great when I can hang out with him and be in his toddler world. We went to my cousins wedding in half moon bay and it was a beautiful event. I love weddings I think it is really special to be with a couple on the first day as husband and wife. Although it was very hard to do a over night event with just me and the kids it was a great weekend and I loved that I was strong enough to do it more later.........

Health

It seems alot of people over the last five years have had a huge struggle either succeeding or losing with their battles with their health. We just recently lost the matriarch of our hill that we live on. We call her ol' lady hass. She had the biggest heart of gold. It makes me believe that they used to make people differently back then. The older generation like me g'parents age. They seem to trust everyone without reservation until something happens to take their trust away. All of my generation starts out not trusting and you have to earn it. Seems sad that all of the great people like roys dad and mom and Mrs. Hass that are now gone wont be here to let us know to slow down every day whether they mean driving or just taking the time to smell the roses. I think the hustle and bustle of the days seem to become a blur and we get so caught up that before you know it , it has been a week or month or year and its gone we can never get it back. It makes me sad and I want to find a way to stop and enjoy my kids family and friends more I think that if we all try to do that more we will be happier healthier people

RIP Mrs Hass 2010

Finding Balance

The hardest thing that I have come up on is balance..... We need it everywhere in life. Being a mom I need balance to give to my two children. I need to cater to both of their different ages and needs. I need to cuddle my baby while also running around and discovering the world with my toddler. My son is learning new words every day and body parts and colors while my daughter is learning to crawl. I figure there actually needs to be 3 of me. I also need balance with my hubby to be. We need to realize that we both work hard but in different ways. We need to learn to communicate better. To set back when it gets heated and just cool off. Balance is a really tricky thing. I need to be a mom , wife, lover, friend, and daughter sometimes all at the same time. I feel like that old toy stretch arm strong...I only hope I stretch and not rip. I also am getting my business going I am a rep for Avon. I need to educate myself on all the product daily and rem my clients individual needs. It takes alot of my time but I really love it. I also need to spend more time with roy away from the kids just going for coffee or a walk. We need it we really enjoy each others company when we stop all the daily rush and relax. I need to do more for just me whether its a pedicure or a walk or just going to buy a cocktail. I need to not lose myself in this life but rather grow and just become me. So you see balance is a very tricky and important thing. We all need it and yet it is very very hard to accomplish.

Another day

ok, lets get down to the dirty details......I am 29 a mom of two wonderful beautiful children. My son bradley is a brave stubborn courageous two year old. My daughter is a beautiful smiley imaginative 6 month old. I am engaged to a yummy man who is the best provider for a family anyone can ask for he would work 24 hours a day if need be. I live in a heaven that is a apple orchard so I have the best of both worlds I live in santa cruz which is a gorgeous beach town and instead of living in town I live in nature and love it. I get to teach my kids things that normal parents would have to do while camping or hiking. We have alot of different animals up here from lizards to deer to hawks ect. So sounds great right? So why the hell do I struggle to get through day to day. Well I have postpartum depression. It has made me sad and unable to cope most of the time with just being happy to be a mom. Mad? Hell yes. I have a wonderful family and 60 percent of the time I can't enjoy it. I am very thankful to be surrounded by people that can see when I am struggling and step in to help. My only hope is that one day my hormones or whatever will go back to normal and I can get off the meds and just be thankful that god gave me the chance to have the beautiful family.

A day at a time....

Well lets see I havent posted in a while.....Today I am not having a really good day. More later